Pepsiman vs Captain Falcon
Portal
Overall thoughts on this matchup
Look, we all know why we’re here. to make fun of PS1 Hagrid The Music. So let’s not beat around the bush and let’s get into this starting with.
Pepsi Man’s win-cons
Ok so hear me out on this. If Pepsi Man gives captain falcon eventually he’ll eventually get tooth decay or if he’s distracted with drinking the pepsi Pepsi Man can take Falcon’s car and run him over. Why won’t he be in the car?... because you can’t drink and drive.
Captain Falcon’s win-cons
Rumor has it if you show this to Ink he’ll throw foxes at you.
As for actual Captain Falcon feats we can look at Falcon vs Falco for help and I feel like this is more than enough. Even if that doesn’t work he still has a higher reaction speed from scaling to the blue falcon’s movement speed
Predicted winner
Falcon. The biggest thing helping Captain Falcon is the access to the Blue Falcon which can easily blitz Pepsi Man before he can do anything. Something doesn’t feel right… I’m missing something…
I think I found it.
The Waver
It is time for another Crossover Colosseum and this one brings the hype! Captain Falcon vs Pepsimannnnnnnn!!! They both have tricks up their sleeves, like Captain Falcon wielding dynamite and Pepsiman wielding a Corvette. As for who wins? I think that Captain Falcon will win. Pepsiman sadly does not have many good feats as most of his material tends to portray him as a klutz and a doofus. He often gets hurt in some way in his material. While he does have other material to pull from, like his RPS game, or his appearance in that fighting game, I believe that the Captain's stats will be too much for the Man of Pepsi to handle. But regardless of who wins, the fight will be hype, and the music will be even better. Here’s to an epic episode!
Brick
I return again. Hopefully, Anyway, Pepsiman vs Captain Falcon is another stomp. Right after G&W vs Wii Fit. And the guy that is City level (Supposedly) beats the Wall Level guy. Yeah, Pepsiman’s best AP feat is running through walls which should be Wall Level, while Captain Falcon should be about town if he gets scaling to the Black Shadow. And if Falcon gets time to get in the Blue Falcon Which goes Subsonic+ according to in-game speedometers. And on foot, Falcon is able to dodge a laser shot from a gun which is about a couple centimeters near him. I know he was able to fire back after dodging with his own gun, which kills the person firing the gun. Pepsiman’s best speed feats are dodging cars and bikes, which a human can actually see coming at them. Pepsiman’s best dura is about Wall level, because of him being able to come up after getting run over. While I don’t have a good idea of CF’s Dura, I feel like him getting hit by the cars of F-Zero would hurt more than getting hit by a Regular car. So in the end, I feel like Captain Falcon should easily out-stat, especially with his Blue Falcon, and I think CF also has some dynamite that can blow up buildings, though that’s just something I remember from DB’S Johnny Cage vs Captain Falcon. Anyway i don’t know how to end this so uhhh. Bye?
CalTonTheRobot
PEPSIMAN SWEEP YEA- Captain Falcon speed blitzes and strength stomps, Pepsiman is like maybe Wall Level at best? I don't think Pepsiman has a lot he can do, all he can really do is spawn Pepsi Cans out of thin air and run really fast and even then, Cap's Blue Falcon would triumph over even Pepsi Man's Corvette's fastest speed, and Pepsiman has never endured force as strong as the Falcon Punch, so you know he's in trouble there.. Unfortunately for our beloved Soda Can Man, he just doesn't have the durability or speed to last against the master of the Falcon Punch.
BlackAstra
MKF4
(You know the drill, credit to CTB-36 for the art.)
Salutations and greetings fellow Bracket viewers. Today we have the prediction for Pepsiman vs. Captain Falcon, a fight I’ve been waiting for quite a while now.
There’s no point hiding it. This fight is a stomp.
Pepsiman does not have really a single advantage in this fight. Falcon is a successful bounty hunter who took down the most dangerous crime ring in the world. Pepsiman runs from trucks and giant Pepsi cans. Pepsiman seems to have some skill in hand to hand if we use extended crossover media, but that won’t do much to the (canon) Falcon Punch and the F-Zero champion’s extensive record against similar opponents. In the event the Blue Falcon gets used in the fight, Pepsiman has no options to stop it.
At the end of the day, this fight is just a clear-cut one-sided beatdown for Captain Falcon to deliver. Pepsiman sure can show us his moves, but those moves are like a dying ember to the raging inferno that the Blue Falcon will bring into this fight. All due respect to those who like Pepsiman and hope for an upset, but it simply is not happening.
At his best, Pepsiman has outrun a semi-truck, which is still decent. But Captain Falcon can react to and pilot an F-Zero machine operating at speeds that just completely dwarf that. And given how deadly F-Zero racing canonically is, I see no reason that should not tie to his combat speed as well. It will be difficult for Pepsiman to land a blow, let alone one that truly matters.
Grab yourself a can of Pepsi and sit back, relax, and watch the slugging unfold. The captain will be taking a victory lap on Crossover Colosseum as Pepsiman gets left in the dust. Enjoy the episode!
FALCOOOOOON…
PUNCH!
GKF8
Before anybody even asks, I recently found out I’m allergic to butterflies the hard way. The infection is still dying down, so I’m stuck like this for a while.
That being said, that idiot MKF4 needed my help on yet another prediction, so I’m here in all my lepidoptera infected greatness to enlighten you all on how this fight will go down with the longest and most important prediction on this entire blog. Praise me.
Unfortunately, I have to agree with MK on this prediction, even if I still think he has dirt for brains. The result is just so obvious that even he can see it. Captain Falcon just utterly demolishes Pepsiman in every way possible, including having the better theme song.
There, I said it. I DON’T like hearing the background yell “Pepsiman” every 5 seconds.
But honestly, if even MKF4 could correctly figure out who wins this fight, I’m certain fine readers like yourself can figure it out as well. As cool as running away from giant Pepsi cans might be, it just does not compare to racing space cars through 15 death traps a track. It would be like comparing a bicycle to a NASCAR.
See, I even gave a comparison in my prediction. My work is so much better than MK’s.
Pepsi tastes funny as well. Makes my tongue feel strange. If I could taste, that is. This butterfly infection is pretty intense. I’m sure that sense will come back later though.
Captain Falcon also has a gun. I don’t know why, but versus debaters seem to love making jokes about guns and how they win every debate, and this time the edge is simply in Falcon’s favor. And before anybody brings up how F-Zero is a racing game so he wouldn’t use it, I suggest you check your official comics. He is very much capable of using it.
Like seriously, he is definitely willing to use it. And I should note this effectively gives Captain Falcon the edge in range as well. I bet MK didn’t provide scans or even mention this in his prediction.
This fight is literally pinning a soft drink mascot who routinely gets battered by common daily objects against a superhuman bounty hunter crime-buster. Not exactly what I would call a debatable matchup.
Overall, I don’t see too much point in going longer, especially at the risk of the public starting to make butterfly jokes everytime I show my face literally anywhere. I have a reputation for greatness to maintain.
Captain Falcon wins the episode, by a lot. InkThinks will probably make a few dad jokes, talk about how strange 90s commercials could get, Origin and company will have a stellar animation, and hopefully my infection will be gone by then.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rob MKF4.
